Owning It

              This week's prompt at the Grammar Ghoul Press Shapeshifting 13 Writing Challenge is the word, "Nail-biter." ¢¢ "Bubba-Jean?" "Wut." "I gotta know fer sher. Izzat my baby yer carryin', or izzit that dadgum Billy-Bob’s? "Ain’t neither, Nimrod." “Wut are you sayin’? “It’s my baby, Stoopid!”      

Tap

*** “So, Tap,” the bartender began, “What is it you do, exactly?” “I run hot & cold,” he shrugged. “It depends.” “On what?” “On whether they turn the “H” knob or the “C” knob.” “They...who?” “You know--the freaks with opposable thumbs.”

The Reunion

My funeral is exactly as I'd envisioned: Shasta daisies and giant Calla Lilies just like the kind that grow around Alcatraz Island. They even got the songs right: Don't Fear the Reaper and Jambalaya. The part that goes, "Goodbye Joe, me gotta go...me gotta go pole the pirogue down the bayou..." Spot On! Not much of [...]