Here it is Fibbing Friday again! To join in, click here.

  1. What is a shoe horn?

A shoe horn is when a rhinocerous horn begins to sprout from the toe of a loafer. This is a rare phenomena and when it does happen, you know it’s time for a new pair of shoes.

2. Where will you find a grommet?

A grommet can be found jammed in one’s ear.

3. We may say ‘the tables have turned’, but what is a turntable?

A table that turns by itself before the tables turn. In other words, it is a clairvoyant piece of furniture.

4. How do you make a tea cosy?

First you have to gently pick up the tea bag and speak very sweetly to it. Get it to relax. Then get an ultra-soft tissue and ever so gently wrap the tea bag snuggly, but not too tight. Next, find a nice children’s story to read to it. The tea will feel cozy in no time, and you’ll probably feel lke an idiot.

5. What is a quaver?

A quaver occurs when one’s voice quivers and wavers at the same time.

6. Where will you find a plimsoll line?

A plimsoll line is a type of trotline that does not have hooks attached to it, and is perpendicular to the polygons of the trapezoidal hypotenuse.

7. What colour was The King’s New Clothes?

I believe they were flesh-tone.

8. Why was Ethelred called The Unready?

Ethel was a teenage girl who took forever to get ready. She was late to everything because when she applied her cheap red lipstick it tended to smudge onto her teeth. So then she had to brush her teeth and start all over again. Needless to say, Ethel had very few dates. She became knon as Ethel the Red, and then just plain Ethelred.

9. 007 has a licence to kill, but what would an 005 have a licence for?

Agent 005 had a license to drive.

10. What is a winklepicker?

A winklepicker is a person one hires to choose their winkle for them. Some people just cannot decide which winkle is best suited to their needs, so they consult a journeyman winklepicker. There is nothing worse than going through life with the wrong winkle.

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