It’s Quadrille Monday over aat the dVerse Poets Pub. This week, it’s The Happiness Project!
***
They say it comes from within —
happiness.
Unless the within
Is without.
Where rainbows are gray music
is lonely silence laughter is
as unlikely as
Longing is non-existent when
within is without love can’t
won’t
live in the heart-stopping
abyss of
terminal apathy.
*Anhedonia is the inability to feel joy, happiness, or any other positive emotion.
Quite true. I can relate. I do my best and have trained myself to be an optimist, but some days, it’s hard!
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It’s it hard sometimes, for sure. Thanks, revived writer.
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What a sad condition! I’d never read up on Anhedonia, but I suspect it isn’t something one can snap out of and takes some professional help. It sounds like a decision has been made at the end with the word can’t crossed out and replaced with “won’t.” It is a decision to get help and not live in that abyss. An intriguing poem!
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Hi Tricia, I’m wondering now why I did the can’t/won’t thing. Must’ve been subconscious but I see now why it raises questions. I’d just recently heard of Anhedonia myself. Unimagineable! Thanks for reading!
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Not a fun place to be.
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So is anhedonia a choice – love won’t; or a condition – love can’t? Really interesting questions that you raise in this piece.
(thanks also for the link to Chamicuro – what do we make of such loss – a language, a literature, a culture gone?).
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I don’t think it’s a choice, at all. Probably shouldn’t have typed “won’t.” Re: Chamicuro. I thought there were linguists who transcribed ‘dying’ languages and learned about the culture. I wonder how many cultures/languages have been lost that we didn’t even know existed. It’s a lot to think about.
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A place I wouldn’t like to go, where rainbows are gray music. Like Peter, I wonder if there is an element of choice.
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I don’t know, Kim. A friend of mine was dx’d with this and I don’t know much about it. I know that it is debilitating, though. Thanks for reading!
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I was not aware of the meaning of Anhedonia. How very sad to be afflicted with that. I always try to find a moment of happiness….even within a mundane day. A thought provoking piece you’ve posted. Thank you!
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Thank you, Lillian. I just couldn’t come up with anything cheerful. 🙂
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I really love the beginning of this, which caught me immediately, a within without… a void like a forgotten language.
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