Anonymous, Inc.

It’s Tale-weaver over at MindLoveMisery’s Menagerie.  Today our prompt is “Jobs.”

Without a doubt, my most memorable job was at Anonymous, Inc. as a data entry clerk. The pay was abysmal, the work itself was about as interesting as counting carpet fibers, and there was absolutely no chance for advancement.

So what made it memorable?

My co-workers were some of the most unusual, colorful group of people ever.

First, there were 105 of us and only two supervisors who were tasked with keeping the room under control. They didn’t have a chance.

I worked with mostly women with a few men sprinkled in to make things interesting. At least once a week, a fight would break out between a couple of the girls. Nobody dared get between them as they were bigger than any of the men. By the time a supervisor would get wind of it, the whole thing would be over.

Other times, some of the more rambunctious employees would start a CD war during which CDs would fly through the air and eventually crash into a wall, desk or someone’s head. There were a few injuries but the EMTs were never called.

One of the grossest occurrences was when a row of girls who sat a couple rows ahead of me decided to have a farting contest. They were giggling and tooting away when all of a sudden a girl I will call Tanya pushed a little too hard and, well, pooped right in her polyester pants. The stench was unbelievable.

After a few minutes of raucous laughter, Tanya got up and sashayed out of the room. We all thought she was going home, never to return again, but no. She just went to the restroom to clean up. Tanya was back at her desk in about 20 minutes like nothing ever happened.

And this wasn’t the first time Tanya’d had an accident! I’d missed the first one, luckily.

Then there was this portly woman named Betsie who always smelled like tuna. Always. In the summertime she was especially rank. Anyway, Betsie would brag about how her cat liked to lick her armpits whether she wore deodorant or not. Apparently this made her feel special.

I stuck it out at Anonymous, Inc. for about nine months. Some people I knew then are still there to this day.

Bless their hearts.

 

 

SusanWritesPrecise/ Susan Marie Shuman

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