Today’s poetry form over at the dVerse Poets Pub, is the dizain.
You’re truly not the guy you used to be
And I’m not the girl I was yesterday.
But what do you see when you look at me?
Saggy, wrinkled skin? Thinning hair of gray?
You don’t have time to look at me these days —
All your drinking and sneaking and lying!
In your sleep it’s her name you’ve been sighing.
So pack up your stuff and hit the road, Earl!
Loser, please: it’s too late to start crying.
Have a nice life, you and that skanky girl!
“Loser, please” So vibrant and hilarious. The picture is perfect to go with it 🙂
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Thanks, msjadeli. So glad you enjoyed!
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Oh I did! lol You are welcome.
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Anybody named Earl is suspect. Wow, a rollicking in-the-moment stream-of-consciousness gem.You sublimated the form to interesting content.
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Thanks so much, Glenn. Much appreciated!
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OMG- Love this! Reminded me of my favorite Dixie Chicks Song! https://youtu.be/Gw7gNf_9njs
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Exactly! Once that name came to mind, I had to use it. Just too perfect. 🙂
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😊
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Ha, what fun! ‘Hit the Road, Jack’ has long been one of my favourite songs. You take that mood to a new level, with all the accusing details. Bravo!
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Thanks so much, Rosemary! It’s an honor.
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I liked the photo of what I assume is Earl’s hit-the-road car.
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Haha. That picture really pops out underneath that poem. Loved the closing lines.
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So glad you enjoyed, Arcadia. Thanks for stopping by!
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The photo is perfect for this poem.
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🙂
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Burn that fool right outta’ your life Susan. The scoundrel and his skank! I absolutely LOVE that picture!! 🙂 …wonderful write!
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Hee! LOL, Rob. Thanks so much!
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His sighing loss. Nice one Susan
Much❤love
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Oh!!! That final act of defiance! Love this!
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Thanks so much!
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I love the almost comical assonance in the title, Susan, and the defiant tone of the piece. The final line says it all!
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Thanks, Kim. It was a fun write, once I got into it. Glad you enjoyed!
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Can I send this to my ex? Thanks for a great laugh.
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You certainly can! I’m glad it made you laugh. 🙂
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Ouch, another end-of-love poem — Rob wrote one too. The form fits it well
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I think just about any form works well for end-of-love. 🙂
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Well, this made me smile. Love that sassy voice!
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kaykuala
Yes, Susan let him be with his girl.. They deserve each other!
Hank
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True!
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