2nd Grade & Why I’m Not Catholic
It’s open link night at dVerse!
The piece below recounts the actual events of a day at St. James Elementary School in Arlington Heights, IL. 1966, or so.
I flunked a phonics test and
Sister Eleanor is scowling like Satan:
goose-stepping back and forth, spitting
“God Hates You Brats.” She doesn’t know that God
likes kids, even brats and kids who flunk
phonics tests. The big kids call her a Nazi;
another word for booger–like snot–and the
funniest word in the world.
Booger Eleanor! I giggle and
she lurches at me like a rabid penguin. Now,
I’m laughing so hard I can’t breathe and her claws
snarl the back of my neck while my lunch
hot-scratches my throat. Someone drops
a pencil and my face jack-hammers the desk where
my dog’s initials are because I love her and
long division is hard. Red plops from my
nose and the lisping boy with lazy-eye starts
crying because his last trip to the drinking fountain
is tinkling from his chair and onto his shoe.
Booger Eleanor is howling
and her face is sweat-gray. The lisping boy’s
belt is in her hand now, but Booger Nazi doesn’t get
to kill him because our normal teacher from
last year who isn’t a nun and doesn’t hate us,
or God,
strolls in with the Principal.
St. James Catholic Church & Elementary School
Wow. My school days were quite calm and unruffled … in comparison.
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My heart was pounding throughout as I read and let out a sigh of relief at the end.. when the principal arrived. Phew!
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You and me both, Sanaa! Thanks for reading and commenting. 🙂
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Whew that was quite a day!
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Memorable, for sure. 🙂
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That is some scene. Hope the ending was not too bad.
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Everybody lived though it. 🙂
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Wow for sure! I want to hear the end of this wild story! Can’t imagine any of that happening in this day and time. What were they thinking! So cruel!!
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That was the end. It all stopped there. Nothing happened to the lunatic nun, of course. She was right back in class the following day.
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Did your parents know what she did to you?
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Yep! And they took her side. I was crushed in disbelief.
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I can’t imagine!
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Me neither. It still bothers me.
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God’s grace saved you. Too bad God gets a bad rap because of the evil called religion. Those kinds of moments can make or break a person. Glad you purged yourself of that hideous remembrance!
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Thank you, msjadeli!
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You are welcome.
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a child’s point of view is from the bottom looking up, you also gave me the view from inside his throat that was hilarious indeed.
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Glad you enjoyed, Gina. I will never forget that day, nor will I forget that insane nun. Terrifying.
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i went to a convent school, some of them were quite terrifying, I recall a mean feather duster, but i was quick on my feet!! you have a talent for this writing!
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Thanks so much, Gina! Nus can be a terrifying bunch. In fact, I’m surprised kids don’t dress up as nuns for Halloween. LOL! Wish I’d thought of it back then…
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and go terrorize some kids!
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What a write!
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Nice description: “she lurches at me like a rabid penguin”
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I’m so glad I didn’t go to a Catholic school! I’ve heard so many stories about them and with this poem you’ve confirmed that they must be true! I love the perspective of a child and the language. I couldn’t help but smile at the lines:
‘Booger Eleanor! I giggle and
she lurches at me like a rabid penguin’.
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Hi Kim, Thanks for stopping by. I don’t think nuns are like that anymore. Or at least they aren’t allowed to hurt kids. Booger Eleanor: it is funny and it was an apt name.
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I love the flow of this piece…keeping the story alive and almost out of breath in telling it, which I’m sure you would be! This sort of stuff would be illegal now…should have been then, probably was….
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Thanks, Mish. It is still hard to write about, hence the out of breath quality to it. Back then, nuns beating kids up was almost the norm. No one made a big deal out of it, unfortunately.
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She had no clue about religion that nun:
Mark 10.14 When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.
Not that I’n religious but I still know a bit of the bible.
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That nun was psycho. Seriously. Her temper was out of control. IMO, it was due in part to sexual frustration.
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a powerful piece of writing…the environment is all too familiar to me…JIM
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Thank you, Jim. Sorry to hear it’s a familiar scenario for you. Ugh!
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Ha, yes, I used to get into a lot of trouble for making remarks 😊
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Luckily I went to public school, but the Nuns at the local Catholic School were (in)famous. (K)
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I hope no one was hurt. They can be so vicious.
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