Today’s writing prompts at The Haunted Wordsmith are the words, Memory, best, “go with you” and the image below.


I tried to prepare myself for this day. I knew it was going to happen and I knew it would hurt like hell. There’s no way I was anywhere near ready to lose you.

You?

You, of all people.

You knew I couldn’t do without you. What were you thinking,  leave me all alone on this mudball? What was God thinking? How can this be?

It’s a big, fat, fucking mistake that can’t be undone! Oh, God I can’t believe how much this hurts. I’m not ready to say goodbye to you, not ready to let you go.

I’ll never be ready to let you go.

I want to go with you! Would you mind? I’ll stay out of the way and swear to God I won’t bug you. It’ll be just like here, only it’ll be there.

But what if it doesn’t work that way? What if I can’t find you over there? Or what if it’s a whole different set-up than what we imagine and we don’t even remember anyone from here?

Or what if people who commit suicide are not allowed to see their loved ones? That would just effing figure.

All I want to do is wake up from this nightmare. Please let me wake up, God, wake me up!

But I can’t. It’s real and you’re gone.

Thank God for memories. At least I have those. They’re all I got and I’m keeping them!  Now I have to make sure I don’t forget any of them. Ever. Because then I won’t have anything. It would be like nothing ever happened. Like you never happened. We never happened.

I hate this. I hate death and it’s everywhere.

I will miss you. 

You’re taking the best part of my heart with you. That’s closer to what I mean.

When you see my mom & everybody, tell them I said hi, okay? And that I hope to see you all real soon.

Visit me in my dreams when you get settled, okay? I’ll be watching for you.

Damn, I’m gonna miss you.

Please don’t go.

 

 

 

Susan Marie Shuman/ SusanWritesPrecise

10 Comments

  1. So true. I’ve always had to get passed myself in order to begin the healing of getting past the sharpness of losing someone I love.

    Like

  2. Beautiful. So sad and yet so real. Not ever easy to let go when someone leaves unexpectedly before we are ready. But then when there is love, we are never ready to let one go.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, it does come in stages. I think that’s why, for me anyway, during that time it seems that grief comes at me from all angles, when I least expect it. Like a sniper.. Thank you for your comments, Helene. And what a compliment that this piece opened your heart!

        Liked by 1 person

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