Wild-Ass Normalcy

Sebastian’s jaw dropped. “Dude! What happened to your face?”
“Guava paste.” François sighed. “Toilet exploded.”
“Whoa! How’d that happen?”
“I flushed our botched leprosy vaccine. Then I, y’know, flicked my ciggie butt in there too, and Ka-boom!”
“But what was your face doing so close to the toilet bowl?”
“Well, that’s the stupid part,” François explained. “Once I flicked the butt into the toilet on top of the vaccine, everything started to sort of get steamy, kinda like dry ice when you mix it with water”
Yeah? So, then what?” Sebastian urged his brother to continue.
“So, I bent down to get a better look and that’s when it blew.”
“Wow, you’re lucky you’re not blind.”
“Yeah, that’s what the Hazmat guy said too.”
Hazmat came? Utter coolness!”
“Oh, they came alright,” François sniffed. “And Mom & Dad are pissed.”
“What else is new?” Sebastian waved his brother’s comment away. “Was it Phil an’ Larry? They’re my favorites. I love those guys!”
“Nope!” François applied more guava paste to the chemical burns. “Two new guys. I didn’t catch their names.”
“What happened to Phil an’ Larry?”
François shrugged. “I didn’t ask. The whole thing was pretty unpleasant. Nobody thought it was funny but me.”
“Wow.” Sebastian flopped onto the lower bunk of the bunk bed. “That sucks!”
“Tell me! I’m grounded, if you can believe that.”
“You’re kidding,” Sebastian squinted in disbelief. “They know grounding us doesn’t work.”
“True, but I think it’s like they don’t know what to do with us anymore.”
“Like they ever did!” Sebastian grinned.

“Sebo?” François began. “I overheard ‘em talkin’ about boarding schools. Separate ones!”
“No shit?”
“None whatsoever.”
There was a moment of silence while Sebastian considered the direness of the situation.
“Okay, here’s what we do: We’re gonna tone it down. No new vaccines or experiments. We’ll keep a low profile an’ stay under the radar.”
“You mean act normal?”
“Ugh! You don’t have to say it like that, Frankie.”
“Well, that’s what you mean!”

Sebastian could hear the tears in his brother’s voice. “Think of it as a sabbatical. It goes like this: To the untrained eye, we will have outgrown our wild and wicked ways, but, in reality, we’re going to figure out how not to get caught inventing stuff.”
“Think it’ll work?”
“It has to.”


Tell it like it is

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