Wild-Ass Recipe

 

Birds were chirping, bees were buzzing, and flowers blooming. In other words, it was a typical summer afternoon in the oxymoronic, Normal, IL  home of the Wild-Ass Limborg brothers. One would expect that such a gorgeous day would have goosed the boys’ imaginations beyond the speed limit, but they were having none of it. Instead, Sebo and Frankie preferred to mope in their shared bedroom.

“I miss Pendragon.” Sebo sighed, flinging his ParasiteMan comic book across the room. “It’s freakin’ boring around here without him.”

“I hear ya barkin,’ big dog,” Frankie said. “That little dude was one of a kind…literally.”

Sebo grinned. “Yeah, he sure was.” He picked up Pendragon’s old stuffed tarantula and began tossing it gently in the air and catching it. “Wonder how he’s doing at that stupid circus.”

“We can only hope he’s happy.” Frankie shrugged. “Hey, why don’t you ask Gram to send you another Homunculus Hero kit? It wouldn’t be the same as Pendragon, but we could…”

“Naah,” Sebo interrupted. “I already asked her. They’ve been banned.”

Banned? You’re kidding me!”

“Nope! Sucks, doesn’t it?”

“But, why?

“I’m not for sure, but I think because of the de Berry twins.” Sebo explained. “They didn’t follow the directions.”

“Sounds about right for Razz & Dingle. So, what’d they do?”

“Injected a synthesis of Hello Kitty! an’ Stretch Armstrong DNA. Ended up with a muscle-bound homunculus that coughed-up three-foot-long, radioactive hairballs.

“No shit? Did Hazmat come?”

“Hell yeah, they came.”

“Man, I miss everything!”

“Maybe if you took those earbuds out once in awhile…”

Later that same day…

“Dude, c’mere!” Frankie hollered from the computer room. “You’re not gonna believe this!”

Sebo  sauntered in, slurping a strawberry smoothie. “What?”

“Lookit! I found this Theophrastus Paracelsus guy who knows how to make a homunculus from scratch!

“Nuh-uhhh…” The Doubting Sebo replied. “Lemme see that.”

“It gives you the whole recipe!” Frankie scooted a cheek to make room for his brother.

Sebo’s lips moved silently as he read Paracelsus’ instructions. “Aw, man. This can’t be right.”

“Whoa. What the…?”

“EWWWW!”

“Is this guy serious?”

“Wanna try it?” Sebo asked with a wild grin.

To be continued…

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