Wild-Ass Field Trip

Today, we join the Lindbourg brothers as they explore the Art Institute of Chicago with their classmates. Let’s listen in…

“This place is pretty cool…” Francois observed as he glanced around.

“Yeah,”  Sebastian agreed. “It is. I’m surprised they even let us in, after what happened on our last field trip.”

“Aw, c’mon!” I’m never gonna hear the end of it, am I?”

“Probably not.” Sebastian grinned, elbowing his brother in the ribs. “It was classic!”

“That was a whole year ago,” François sighed. “I’ve matured considerably since then. And besides, they confiscated my fart spray before we even got on the bus.”

“Dude! Check that one out!”

“Whoa! His Adam’s apple’s sproutin’ a turnip!”

“He’s a human salad bar.”

“Imagine if he dated…a vegan…”

BWAHAHA! Eaten alive!”

“Probably uses pesticide instead of deodorant.”

“Yeah, an’ he eats fertilizer with a Miracle-Gro® chaser…”

“Must smear it on his head, too.”

“Takes a bath in it!”

“Hey, he’s growin’ flowers and fruit, too. No good can come of that…”

“Whaddaya mean?”

“They say that fruit an’ vegetables together causes intestinal angst.”

“Intestinal angst?” Sebastian laughed. “Is that like a flatulence frenzy?”

“How ’bout: gregarious gas!” François sputtered, laughing.

“I got one. I got one…” Sebastian paused to choke back a giggle-eruption.   “Fartin’ fury!”

With that, the boys exploded in fit of adolescent hilarity. This, in turn,  provoked the attention of their teacher who, red-faced and grimacing, had begun striding in their direction.

“Man, I wish I had that can of fart spray!” Francois snorted, wiping tears from his eyes.

“Who needs it with him around?” Sebastian snorted, jerking his thumb at the Arcimboldo painting.  

A subsequent laugh riot ensued.


Giuseppe Arcimboldo

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