Wild-Ass Search Party

 

Continued from last week

“Oh, Dude…” Sebastian sighed. “What are we gonna do?

“Poor little guy.” Françoise mumbled, clenching Pendragon’s broken chain. “I don’t even know where to start looking!”

“Maybe we should call the cops & report him as a missing person.” Sebastian picked up a tattered paper airplane and began refolding it into the shape of da Vinci’s Glider.

“That’s no good,” Françoise countered. “He’s not exactly a person, remember?”

“Maybe not, but he comes close…”

François rolled his eyes at his brother. “So, you think we should tell the cops that somebody swiped our homunculus?”

Sebastian shrugged. “You’re right. We lost all credibility after that UFO thing.”

“Hey, I know!” Françoise exclaimed. “Let’s get Phydeaux!”

“Phydeaux?” What’s a cat gonna do?”

C’mon, Sebo.” Françoise’s impatience was obvious. “Before you changed him back into a cat, he was a bloodhound…?”

“Oh, yeah.” Sebastian squinted. “Why can’t I remember that?”

“Probably ‘cuz you did such a good job,” François concluded. “Phydeaux  doesn’t even bark anymore. Even when it’s a full moon he just howls like a cat in heat.”

Sebastian beamed with pride. “Yeah, he is one of my finest alchemic efforts. Dad’s still pissed off at me about that.”

“Uh, yeah…he’s allergic to cats?”

“Really?” Sebastian pondered. “Who knew? Guess I’ll never be his dream child.”

“Well, you’re my favorite brother,”  François grinned. “C’mon, let’s go get him.”

With that, the boys were off to enlist the aid of their trusty cat cum dog cum cat.

“Dude, how will Phydeaux pick up Pendragon’s scent?” Sebastian asked. “Mom’s done all the laundry & changed his crib sheets.”

“Dang it!”  Françoise lamented. “Why does she have to be so efficient? Why, O why can’t we have a slacker-Mom like everyone else?”

“Don’t despair, Dude!” Sebastian snatched a stuffed tarantula from the homunculus’ crib. “We’ve got…Agamemnon!” He shook the fuzzy toy at his brother menacingly. “RAAAAHHHRRRR!”

“Man, that thing’s disgusting.” François pushed his brother’s hand away, grimacing. “It should work, though. Pendragon’s slept with it from day one.”

Sebastian allowed Phydeaux a sniff  of Agamemnon, and it was on! The ‘alchemically’ species-reassigned creature strained against the  diamonique -studded leash, nearly snapping the matching collar.

“Whoa!” Sebastian marveled. “Phydeaux’s  really haulin’ ass!”

“Toldja…”

“Lookit him drool! It’s flying all over!” Sebastian wiped a wad of saliva from his cheek with the back of his hand.

“Gross…”

“Hey, are you sure Phydeaux knows what he’s doing?”

“Of course he knows. Why?”

“There’s a globber o’ spit in my eye…and it’s hardening!  Where’re we headed?”

“Uh…toward the circus.”

It was then that gravity of the situation, and its horrific potential, hit the boys. They stopped in their tracks while Phydeaux strained to keep moving.

The Circus?!” Their jaws dropped as they stared blankly (Françoise with only one eye, obviously) at one another. “Wholly hijacked homunculus!”

 To be continued…

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