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Have I Got a Deal for YOU!
You watch countless people do it every day. They make it look so easy! Even children do it with positive results: Ever wished that you, too, had the ability to cross the street without being hit by a car, bus, or dump truck?
(Lose the helmet. Your worries are OVER!)
Or perhaps you are one of those unfortunates who inadvertantly short-sheets their own bed…every-damn-day.
(I can fix that!)
Are you embarrassed to admit the number of times you’ve mistaken the PreparationH for the Crest?
(No More YIKES!/YUCK!)
Folks, I have what you need. It’s called common sense. These days fewer and fewer are born with it, which makes it such a hot commodity. But today, I’m running a special on the goods. I’m offering you a lifetime supply of uncommonly good common sense for the low, LOW, price of just $29.95.
But WAIT! There’s MORE!
The first 75M callers will receive a valuable portion of either the Brooklyn Bridge, Grand Canyon, or Mount Olympus.
Call NOW! Don’t Delay!
*Must be over 21 years of age, and certifiably stupid.