Non Sense

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Have I Got a Deal for YOU!

You watch countless people do it every day. They make it look so easy! Even children do it with positive results: Ever wished that you, too, had the ability to cross the street without being hit by a car, bus, or dump truck?

(Lose the helmet. Your worries are OVER!)

Or perhaps you are one of those unfortunates who inadvertantly short-sheets their own bed…every-damn-day.

(I can fix that!)

Are you embarrassed to admit the number of times you’ve mistaken the PreparationH for the Crest?

(No More YIKES!/YUCK!)

Folks, I have what you need. It’s called common sense. These days fewer and fewer are born with it, which makes it such a hot commodity. But today, I’m running a special on the goods. I’m offering you a lifetime supply of uncommonly good common sense for the low, LOW, price of just $29.95.

But WAIT! There’s MORE!

The first 75M callers will receive a valuable portion of either the Brooklyn Bridge, Grand Canyon, or Mount Olympus.

 

Call NOW! Don’t Delay!

1.800.DUM.BASS

*Must be over 21 years of age, and certifiably stupid.

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